Chapter Fifteen Winner

This week's mystery writer was Maureen Crisp. You can download Maureen's FABO bookmark by clicking on the image.

Judges report for Chapter 15 .-Maureen Crisp.

Aha... Nobody guessed me...Nobody guessed me....

This week’s winners are long term contributors, Andy Xie for the seniors and Haley Coupe for the Juniors.

Some goodies are knuckling your way this week...you can name them Giles or Miranda in honour of our two criminal masterminds????

Alex was playing fast and loose with the Universe this week and managed to set our heroes and assorted hangers on into a Circus Maximus style fight to the death with the Dinosaurs...Get out of that Remy!

Haley was on fire, not only did she have Lewis singing, but then to get out of the death penalty the poor stranded group had to become mercenaries and fight an alien army and for their reward were sent back in time to 210. Oh No!

Both of our winners are showing that they understand how to get to a climax and strand their characters there.

This week I have been thinking about overall Book structure...because we are beginning to wind up to the end of the Fabo Story. But, as with all thrilling books, we have a few surprises up our sleeves.

So why did I write the chapter I did?

When you are writing a book, one of the most important things to think about is structure.

The plot tells the story.

The characters are who the plot happens to.

The structure is when the plot happens to the characters.

A basic structure is Introduction (beginning) Problem (middle) Climax, Resolution (end). This can be repeated in each chapter but it is also what you should be hanging the whole novel upon.

The FaBo Team are planning on finishing the story before the end of term. Chapter fourteen, with four more chapters to go, is a good time to be looking back at what has gone on before, revisiting some characters who were left hanging and developing earlier plot points (fixing holes.) After this the writer can begin setting up for a final climax on the way to a satisfying end.

Knowing how far into the story you are, is important. We are now heading into the final climax and from there we will be moving on to the end.

The climax, when things are as bad as they can be and then..., can last over a couple of chapters.

The resolution (how they get out of it) can be most of one chapter, with the last chapter tying up all loose ends.

By this time Remy and Lewis will be ready for a lie down, or serious therapy, after everything they have gone through. They are going to survive this, save their parents, save the world and go back to live normal lives, aren’t they?

Maureen.

CHAPTER 15:

The Journey To Planet X

Hayley Coupe, Maungawhau School

‘Death penalty?!’ asked Remy, shocked.

‘Yeah, I’m afraid so.’ Replied Ummm.

‘But why?’ asked Lewis. ‘Why is it a death penalty?’

‘Are you dumb or something?’ asked Ummm. ‘They are dinosaurs. They go, ‘Roar, Roar!’ They can eat you!’

‘Oh, well I thought that might happen but I thought that there was something more worse.’ Said Lewis. ‘Like, well… I don’t know.’

Ummm rolled his eyes.

‘So, we can’t leave because we will bring in all of the “animals” and well, yeah, that’s about it.’ Said Too Cool.

‘Oh,’ said Lewis. ‘Ok. Then we can’t teleport. The Dinosaurs will get out and eat the everyone in the whole world.’

‘Yes!’ said everyone.

‘Now you understand,’ said Remy. ‘We can figure out how to get out of here without the “animals” coming with us.’

‘Yes, that’s right.’ Said Remy’s mum. They thought of a plan. Nothing had come to Remy’s mind, neither anyone’s mind.

‘Sally sells Sea shells at the Sea Shore.’ Whispered Lewis. Everyone stared at him. Lewis looked up.

‘Hi,’ said Lewis, confused. ‘What’s happening?’

‘Well, first off, you aren't thinking at ALL! Then, you start singing.’ Said Too Cool. Lewis raised his eyebrows at Lewis. Lewis looked guilty.

‘Well, first thing is that I was thinking. And I just say that when I have an idea.’ Said Lewis. ‘Do you understand?’

‘I've known you for AGES and I have never heard you say that.’ Said Remy. ‘Trust me.’

‘Well, I thought of it like an hour ago and I wanted to give it a try.’ Said Lewis.

‘Oh, ok.’ Said everyone.

‘Hey look!’ said Remy. ‘Lewis’s tail has gone!’ everyone looked at Lewis (use to be) tail. It was gone. Disappeared into the Planet X.

‘YAY!!!’ shouted Lewis. ‘I’m cured.’ Everyone cheered.

‘Ahem.’ Said a voice through a Megaphone. ‘May I have your attention please?’ Remy, Remy’s mum, Too Cool, Ummm, Eyepod and Lewis all looked to where the sound came from. It was from the sky.

‘You will be brought up here to help Planet X.’ said the voice again.

‘Hey! I just said that!’ said Lewis. Then a beam of light blasted down on them.

‘You will now come up and be blasted off to Planet X.’ said the voice again. The beam lifted them up into the Warp Factor 5.

When they got into the Warp Factor 5, they looked around. They also figured out how was talking through the Megaphone. It was obviously the mayor of Planet X. They blasted off (about 200 mph) until they got to Planet X. During the trip, the mayor came out and showed himself.

‘Hello, Earthlings.’ Said the mayor. ‘Call me Mayor Mogul. Or Mogul.’

‘Ok, Mogul.’ Said Remy, waving. ‘So, what do you need us for?’

‘Planet X is being invaded and we don’t have ANY good planetexians to fight.’ Replied Mogul. ‘I just chose a couple of people to help us out.’

‘Ok, I want to help!’ said Lewis, enthusiastically. Everyone else seems to not agree.

‘It won’t be dangerous,’ said Mogul. ‘Well, you might be disintegrated.’ Everyone looked shocked.

‘I don’t want to do this. It seems too dangerous.’ Said Remy’s mum.

‘I will do you something to make it up to you.’ Said Mogul.

‘Do you think that you could take us back to…’ said Eyepod. ‘The year 2010.’

‘Of course I can.’ Said Mogul. Everyone cheered.

‘Then it’s a deal.’ Confirmed Mogul, shaking hands with Remy. They got out of the Hovercraft and onto Planet X.

‘We need to breathe.’ Said Too Cool, before they got out.

‘Don’t worry. Any human can breathe on Planet X.’ said Mogul. They walked around and they could definitely breathe on Planet X.

‘Planet Zaxon will be invading us tonight!’ said Mogul on the way.

‘Ok.’ Said Remy. ‘We should be ready for that.’

‘Yes we shall.’ Said Mogul. They went into the training zone.

‘We shall now start your training.’

They started training in the training zone. They practiced with their Ray Gun. They had to shoot obstacles. Soon it was time for battle.

‘Ok, battle time.’ Said Mogul. ‘Get into your positions.’ They got into their positions. They got their Ray Guns ready.

‘5… 4…’ the countdown begun.

‘By the way, if we lose, then I won’t return you to…’ said Mogul. But the countdown interrupted Mogul.

‘1… GO!!!’ the countdown ended and they went off to invade Planet Zaxon. It was a long time until they got to Planet Zaxon. But, Planet Zaxon had already left to invade and they met them half way.

‘ATTACK!!!’ yelled Planet X and Planet Zaxon. They started attacking. Remy thought that if you killed someone, they would die with blood, guts and intestines. But, they just disappeared into thin air. Remy started shooting Planet Zaxon. One time he got so carried away he shot one of Planet X’s people. Remy felt guilty about that. Lewis was getting to carried away too. He was randomly shooting at any person. One time he nearly hit Remy! The others were fine with their shooting. There were no people left on Planet Zaxon’s team left. Remy thought it was over.

‘Now, you have to take us back to 2010.’ Said Remy.

‘No, we haven’t finished.’ Said Mogul.

‘But, there is no people left.’ Said Remy.

‘There is one more, the Mayor.’ Said Mogul.

‘Ah, Mayor Mogul.’ Said a voice, evilly. ‘We meet again.’

‘Mayor Hex, welcome to your DOOM!!!’ shouted Mogul.

Mayor Hex looked like an average alien. He had an antenna and 4 suckers (hands).

‘I see you have more minions.’ He said. ‘Call me Mayor Hex. Or just Hex.’

‘Thank you, Hex. But I think since you’re the competition, I will call you Mayor Hex.’ Said Remy.

‘Yeah,’ everyone agreed.

‘Very well then.’ Hex said. ‘Lets battle.’ They started battling. It wasn’t looking good for Mayor Hex, thought Remy. Ray Guns were fired and Flame Swords were swiped across Mayor Hex’s face. Then Remy started aiming. He set his Ray Gun to, “Disintegrate”. He shot. He waited patiently for the Ray to hit Hex. Then it was so close to Hex when a ray was fired at Remy. Remy looked shocked. He wanted to run. Run away into New Zealand. Run away into Auckland, 2010. But, he couldn’t; he could barely walk in his space suit. The Ray hit Mayor Hex, but the ray was getting closer to Remy. He moved as soon as the Ray came to Remy.

Phew, thought Remy, that was close.

‘AHHH’ cried Mayor Hex, in pain. ‘That hurt. You’re going to pay for that.’ He turned his Ray Gun to “Disintegrate”. He aimed at Remy.

‘Beware to meet your DOOM!!’ shouted Mayor Hex. He fired the ray. Remy looked shocked again. Not again, thought Remy. He dodged it again and before you know it, there was another ray fired at Remy! Remy looked at Lewis.

‘This is a distraction.’ Whispered Lewis. ‘Just keep on dodging the rays.’ Remy understood. Remy kept on dodging the rays and kept waiting for the distraction to end. Then it finally ended. Lewis fired the ray at Mayor Hex.

‘Oh, uh,’ said Hex, in pain. ‘AHHHH!’ Hex screamed as he disintegrated into thin air.

‘Well, now you can take us back to…’ said Remy, but Mayor Mogul interrupted.

‘Yes, yes, I know.’ Said Mayor Mogul. ‘Get into the Warp Factor 5.’ They all walked into the Warp Factor 5 and got seat-belted in. The Warp Factor 5 sped off so that they could get to the year 2010.

‘Year 120 coming up!’ said Mogul.

‘What! NO!!’ shouted everyone. But it was too late. They had already been transferred to the year 210.

They looked around. They were not in the year 2010 but in the year 210 all right. This was not good. Mayor Mogul waved to them to say good-bye.

‘Wait. NO!’ yelled everyone. But the Warp Factor 5 had already left.

‘Hey, guys. Guess what.’ Lewis said.

‘What?’ asked Remy.

‘I made up a song for Mayor Mogul. Here it is.’ Said Lewis. ‘Don’t ever hitch a ride with a Martian. They always go like mad. They often drive Warp Factor five. Though their eyesight’s really bad. If you ever hitch a ride with a Martian, you’d see what Einstein meant. You’d go so fast no time goes past so you’re back before you went.’ Lewis sung the chorus. ‘Pretty good.’ Said Remy. ‘You will get there in the end.’

‘We have to get out of here.’ Said Eyepod.

‘Yes!’ agreed everyone.

‘Operation 1.’ Said Remy. ‘Find a way to get out of here