Chapter Seventeen Winner

This week's mystery writer was Kathy White. You can download Kathy's FABO bookmark by clicking on the image.

Judges report for Chapter 17 - Kathy White.

Foiled again. The mystery writer wasn’t Brian Falkner or Kyle Mewburn. It was me, me, me. Kathy Ruby Trapeze Artist White.

This week, our competing entries rocketed backwards and forwards between a laboratory and the home of Too Cool’s and Ummm’s mother. We met Mer-Warriors, ground-walkers, and body-snatchers. Heh, heh. I loved reading your chapters this week. Where do you get all that imagination from? And that ridiculous sense of fun?

Now before I relieve your anxiety over who has won this week, I have a big announcement. This is your FINAL WEEK to write a chapter. If you’ve been procrastinating about writing a chapter for FaBo, don’t put if off any longer. There’s big KUDOS in writing the final one - the grand finale - so get tapping on that keyboard. The final chapter is the most important. Not only because we shower you with prizes and praise, but because YOU get to resolve some of the problems that arose throughout the rest of the book. What happens about Remy’s parents? Where are Eyepod and the scintillating Mrs Jones? Will they make a comeback? Will human evolution be un-timed forever? Would the Jones boys be better as slimy tentacled alien gorillas anyway? Will our heroes Remy and Lewis survive unscathed? Or will they end up picking fleas out of each other’s hairy backs forever?

Of course the fate could be worse. Angus has put them in the hands of the body-snatchers. He also did what all good writers do at the beginning of his last chapter. He took a bad situation and made it even worse. He twisted the story so that the wind caught the cupcake, blew it into a tree and exploded Mrs Polanik. I know she was being a bit of a pain, but did she really deserve this? Lewis said of her terrible fate “I guess your mum was doomed to fall in every reality, like Cher or Gary Glitter.” Ha, ha, ha.

Angus had some great lines. Too Cool’s “supply of cupcakes had vanished during the teleportation as had his magical fairy levitation ballet shoes.” And “Without a doubt, they were in a real pickle. Not just any pickle but a rotter old pickle with its own resident worm family.” This reminded me of some of the great lines in Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events. Angus writes as if he’s writing scenes for television, and I think he’d be brilliant at writing scripts for the TV series Doctor Who. That’s why he’s winning a prize this week. He gets to choose one of Brian Falkner’s books (Angus, please let us know which one you would like). He’s also getting a soft toy from the un-timing ape family.

There were other examples of beautiful description, humour and dialogue:

Caroline Moratti wrote: “Sprinkles exploded everywhere. Remy’s vision blurred with vanilla icing and the sweet syrupy smell overpowered his senses.”

Hayley Coupe wrote: Too Cool’s and Ummm’s mum ran towards them screaming “My babies!”

“Man, that’s embarrassing,” thought Ummm.

Great stuff. Now read our mystery author’s chapter 17 and get working on your own last chapter. Remember to make sure that everything that happens in your story is logically connected. Try to tie up the vital loose ends so that you have a satisfying resolution. And most important of all, act like a demented squirrel. Have some fun. Throw some nuts! ;-)

Love Kathy X

CHAPTER 17

: CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: THE WRATH OF APILL
by Angus Smith

At that moment in time, things were looking quite good for Remy and his lot. But things turned to custard pretty quick. The cupcake was snatched away by the wind, as if Mother Nature was pulling a cruel prank. It landed in a nearby tree, the very tree that Mrs. Polanik was about to swing from.

‘Mum!’ Remy screamed, running towards his doomed relative.

But it was too late. The cupcake exploded, setting the tree on fire. For a moment Remy was hopeful as Mum dangled from a vine, just out of the flame’s reach. But then the tree exploded again and fell over backwards.

‘No! Why did she have to die- again?’ Remy moaned to the world at large as he dropped to his knees.

‘Sorry, mate,’ Lewis said, standing behind his friend. ‘I guess your mum was doomed to fall in every reality, like Cher or Gary Glitter.’

‘We can still get her back!’ Remy exclaimed fiercely, getting to his feet. ‘Lewis, you said that you’d picked up the Un-Timer. Give it to me.’

Wordlessly, Lewis handed over the Un-Timer. Remy, a bit deluded in his grief, randomly pressed buttons on the complicated gadget.

‘Noooo!’ Ummm screamed, racing towards Remy with tutus a-flutter. ‘The Un-Timer shouldn’t be used more than…’

A bright flash blinded everyone, and the next moment the world was spinning around madly. Colours flashed at the edges of Remy’s vision, and then everything went black.

*

King Apill Eyepad II, ruler of the underwater kingdom of Apill, stood surveying his vast army. Armed to the teeth with shell daggers and seaweed garrottes, the army included the Palace Guards and ordinary citizens. Apill was off to war, with Princess Eyepod Nanoo having returned with secret military plans from the Upworld.

Flanking King Eyepad was his daughter Eyepod and his portly wife, Queen Mackbooc Heir. Swimming across to his coral podium, the king began his motivational speech.

‘Friends, neighbours, kinsmen,’ Eyepad announced, ‘I speak today on behalf of Apill, the greatest kingdom planet Earth has ever known! With the plans provided by my daughter, we now know that the two gorilla enemies are planning to set in motion their grand plan of world domination. But we can’t have that, can we? So as of today, we are at war with the surface world. Every ground-person will be slaughtered until we find those two gorillas and put a stop to their scheming!’

The massive army cheered in their bloodlust, waving their tridents and flapping their fish-like tails in anticipation. On King Eyepad’s command they began to move out, swimming ever upwards towards the Upworld. The wrath of Apill is in motion!

*

Remy crash-landed hard onto the rocky earth. Rolling down a scree slope, he landed heavily on a patch of thistles. Blinking, he screamed aloud at the intense pain that throbbed through his body and soul. He felt someone grabbing him, pressing something foul smelling down his throat.

‘Hold on there, dude!’ Too Cool’s voice came as if through a thick concrete wall. ‘Don’t fall asleep on me, okay? Drink the elixir, it will, like, help you feel better.’

But the yellowy elixir tasted foul, causing Remy to gag and spit it out all over Too Cool. Recoiling, Too Cool then found that Remy had fallen unconscious. Muttering fretfully to himself, he hoisted the unconscious boy onto his shoulder and staggered away across the grassy steppes that they’d been transported to.

Lucky that the Un-Timer was on teleportation mode rather than the Un-Timing setting, Too Cool thought to himself. But where are Ummm and the other humans?

The sun beat down mercilessly on Too Cool’s back. He was thoroughly disorientated, with absolutely no idea of where they were. His supply of cupcakes had vanished during the teleportation, as had his magical fairy levitation ballet shoes. Without a doubt, they were in a real pickle. Not just any pickle, but a rotten old pickle with its own resident worm family. Too Cool eventually had to stop walking.

Lowering Remy gently to the ground, he uncorked the final flagon of elixir. Prizing apart Remy’s lips with his fingers, Too Cool carefully poured the healing potion down the boy’s throat. Choking and spluttering, Remy’s eyelids snapped open. He pulled himself into a sitting position, blearily scanning his surroundings.

‘Where are we?’ Remy moaned. ‘Where are Lewis and the others?’

‘I wish I knew, man, I really wish I knew,’ Too Cool sighed, running a hand over his decaying tutu. ‘This mission has been, like, the hardest ever. Hey, but at least I didn’t need a blurggstonne of the elixir to rouse you.’

‘Where are Miranda and Giles?’

Too Cool was just about to answer Remy’s question, when he spied something moving in the distance.

‘Heeey, dude, check this out!’ the fairy marvelled.

Coming rapidly toward them across the steppes was a vast horde of mermen and mermaids, armed to the teeth with all manner of undersea objects. At their head rode a heavily muscled man with a whalebone spear clutched in one hand. He was mounted upon a gigantic galloping seahorse, a seaweed plume fluttering at the peak of its shell helmet.

It was only a matter of moments before the Wrath of Apill was upon them. The Mer-Warriors uttered incomprehensible war cries, surrounding the two unlikely companions. King Eyepad stepped off his seahorse and strode towards them.

‘You are ground-walking spies of the two gorilla foes!’ the king roared, brandishing his war spear. ‘What will their fate be, my people?’

From all around them came bloodthirsty cries of ‘Death to the ground-walkers!’ and ‘Up with Apill!’ Amidst the chaos a familiar slender figure appeared in front of Remy, her face drawn and anxious.

‘Father, no!’ Eyepod screamed, grasping the king’s arm. ‘They’re my friends, you can’t possibly hurt them.’

‘I’m sorry, daughter,’ Eyepad boomed, ‘but all ground-walkers must die. It is the will of my people.’

‘Noooo!’ Eyepod screamed, as she was dragged back into the crowd by several of the King’s Guard.

‘We, like, hate those two gorillas too, man!’ Too Cool hastily babbled, as strong hands seized him from behind.

‘Mum,’ Remy sobbed pitifully, as he was dragged before King Eyepad.

‘You must die, human!’ Eyepad roared, bringing his spear downwards.

‘Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!’ Too Cool screamed in agony, as Remy’s corpse thudded down onto the grass.

He hadn’t had long to mourn before Eyepod sprinted out towards him, brandishing a familiar-looking gadget.

‘Is that an Un-Timer?’ Too Cool gasped disbelievingly.

‘I swiped it from Giles,’ Eyepod exclaimed hurriedly, grabbing the fairy by the arm and pressing a few buttons on the Un-Timer. ‘This is our last hope to save Remy and stop Earth from being completely annihilated! I’m going to send us back in time to before those stupid gorillas ever arrived here and messed things up.’

But something wasn’t right. All around them, the mer-people were flickering and dematerialising into the air. Soon, they were completely alone on the steppes.

‘What the-?’ Too Cool began in bewilderment.

Then things took an even weirder turn. The entire landscape around them was beginning to pulse and flicker, like bad special effects from a d-grade movie. Then the sun, the grass and the entire landscape vanished. Eyepod and Too Cool found themselves surrounded by a dark, featureless landscape of…. Nothing.

Suddenly, a soft, tinkling voice sounded inside their heads. ‘Too Cool, Eyepod, wake up…’

Wake up…

Too Cool’s eyelids flickered open. He tried to turn his head, discovering that he was strapped down to some sort of stone ledge. Looking around, he found out that he was imprisoned in a bright, well-lit room with white walls. Voices were conversing all around him, speaking words that Too Cool couldn’t quite catch. He glimpsed white-uniformed doctors in surgical masks milling about him. He could see that Remy, Eyepod, Lewis, Ummm, Mr and Mrs Jones and Mrs Polanik were tied down on ledges of their own all around him. They all seemed to be in some sort of reverie.

A face loomed at the forefront of his vision. It was a doctor, but a doctor with purple skin and tentacles. It blinked, removing the oxygen mask strapped to Too Cool’s face.

‘Where-am-I?’ Too Cool gasped, his throat suddenly very dry.

The voice of the alien doctor was soft, tinkling, and even pleasant. ‘You are in the Laboratory. You are the first to wake, I must have given you too small an Ajectroicide dose.’

‘But I-I don’t understand, dude…’

‘Hush now.’

‘But what happened to the mermaid people?’

There was a chiming laugh. ‘That was just a drug-imposed dream you dreamt, to keep you in stasis during the experimentation.’

‘So the adventures in 1939 Napier, on Awe, and with the mer-people,’ Too Cool grimaced as he pulled himself into an upright position, none of it was real?’

‘Oh yes, it was all fictional.’

‘But how?’

‘You never left the gyro-sphincter. You passed out because of the fumes. That’s when we came across you. You’ve been extremely helpful in our experiments.’

‘Who’s ‘we?’’ Too Cool frowned, taking a look at the other identical-looking doctors.

‘Why, we are the Bodysnatchers.’