Winning Entry

The author of the very first chapter was Kyle Mewburn. You can download Kyle's FABO bookmark by clicking on the image.

Here's what Kyle had to say:

The FaBo Team was swamped with entries. We were delighted with the enthusiastic response from budding authors and teachers from around the country. It was nearly impossible to decide a winner. All the writers showed lots of imagination. There was a huge variety of plots, from monsters and spooky houses, to time-travellers and aliens, with lots of slime and blood. Lots of stories gave me goosebumps. Others made me laugh out loud. And all of them made me wonder what was going to happen next. Which is exactly what a great chapter should do.

But as Dash from The Incredibles said–“If everyone’s special, then no one is.” (Thanks Melinda!) So, after days of nail-biting and a few sleepless nights (and loads of discussions and arguments with the rest of the FaBo Team), I have finally made my decision. Drumroll please …

The first FaBo winner is : Sophie Dillon, Room 7, Balmacewen Intermediate–Dunedin. She used some wonderful descriptive language and, more importantly, her chapter continued seamlessly on from Chapter One. She built up the spooky atmosphere really well and ended with a twist that made me jump. If it was the end of a chapter in a book, I would have been eagerly turning the page to discover what happened next. (I also liked how she wrote Copyright Sophie Dillon 2010 at the bottom. A natural writer!)

------------------------ THE PRIZES! ------------------------

A huge congratulations to Sophie. Your prize - a copy of my book A Crack In The Sky - is on its way!

I've also sent a copy of A Crack In The Sky to Sahana, who managed to pick that I was the mystery author. Well done, Sahana.

And we've sent a special School of the Week Prize to Maungawhau Primary in Auckland.

But the FaBo Team are all softies, really. There were way too many excellent chapters sent in, so we’ve decided to post a few of the best entries on our blog as well.

I can’t wait to read more exciting chapters next week.

Chapter Two

by Sophie Dillon (Balmacewen Intermediate, Dunedin)

Remy stared. he felt like he had just been doused with icy cold water. These prints in the muddy lawn must have been made by the people with the rough, excited voices.

The sparkling dew in the poorly-cut grass brushed around the hem of his pyjama pants, as if dancing in a circle. He sighed and started slowly making his way to the back door of the house. His cold feet trailed along in the wet grass and Remy mulled the same thoughts in his head, over and over. Who had been in the backyard? Why had they been in his, Remy’s quiet suburban garden?

By now, he had reached the back door of the house that was littered with muddy gumboots, musty old socks and wrappers. His immaculate mother was in the kitchen, her eyes skimming a trashy magazine.

“Hey Mum!” pronounced Remy casually. “Did you hear anything last night?” He leant against the gleaming bench. “Anything suspicious?”

“Yes!” snapped his mother. “The neighbours had visitors. They made quite a racket!” She looked at Remy with beady eyes. “So? Don’t bother me unless it is important.” She turned back to the gossip articles.

Mum had been snappy and impatient ever since she started fighting with Dad. Remy sighed and went to gather his things from the tent. As he was making his way across the frosty lawn, something out of the corner of his sparked his attention. On top of the mouldy compost shed in the far corner of the garden, lay a key. Remy ran towards it, excitement prickling through Remy like an electric shock. The key was a battered one, with crusts of dried-on mud covering the silver faces. Remy held the key in his hands and it started to glow a bright, brilliant blue. A hum was constantly ring in Remy’s ears and he started to spin into pressing, engulfing darkness.

A blinding light flashed in Remy’s eyes and he sat up onto a crumbling, dusty brick. He was utterly bewildered. Where was he? What is this place?, Remy pondered.

There was snow all around Remy, spiraling and twinkling around him. Here too, were slow, trudging footprints etched into the white meadow. Remy walked around in circles, desperately trying to find a way out. The field had a rickety fence out-lining the border. Probably about 2 acres, Remy estimated.

He glanced at the key in his hands. Clearly this was no ordinary key. Some of the mud had come of during the “flight” and it was a bit shinier. There was a sick feeling in Remy’s stomach. Would he ever get ever get home?

Either this was all a dream, Remy pondered; or this key had somehow transported him here. he placed the key in the pocket of his camo pyjamas and kept search the grass for some kind of message or sign that might get him safely home. Hang on! Remy had a brainwave. If the key got him here, maybe it could take him back! He placed it on the grass and shivered slightly as a chilly snowflake made its way down the back of his PJ top. One strange thing was that the weather wasn’t cold, even in the presence of snowflakes.

In the distance, Remy caught sight of something, or someone, Remy thought, scurrying around in the distance. Remy squinted and decided that this man, or thing said a nagging voice in his head, might be his only chance of getting home.

Remy sprinted as fast as he could, faster than any gruelling cross-country or marathon he had ever done. He had almost reached what he could now tell was an extremely small man, when he suddenly vanished from sight. Remy gasped. “What!!” He blinked several times. “What!!!” He pinched himself. He wasn’t dreaming. The ferrety-like man had been there, then just vanished!

Remy scoured the area with his eyes, searching for something that might explain were the man had disappeared to. Suddenly, like a crack of thunder, the ground beneath his shaking feet opened up and swallowed poor Remy whole.

Remy felt himself falling through a deep, dark and dingy hole in the ground. Remy let out an earth-shattering cry, but no soul could possibly hear him down here. Remy landed with an agonizing thump onto the damp earth. He was dishevelled, dirty and had a throbbing pain in his ankle. Remy sat up, peering at a dim light in a doorway straight ahead of him. The waxy candle was standing on a very unstable-looking bench. Remy walked towards the room. In the far corner of the room perched and emaciated old man with decaying yellow teeth and a musty-smelling red bandana around his poorly shaven head. Remy felt a nauseating rush fire through him. The man swiveled around to face Remy fully. He let out an insane laugh of mirth. “Remy.” He cackled. “Remy at last.”

But there were way too many excellent entries, so I couldn’t resist posting a couple of outstanding examples. This next one is by Ben Randhawa of Auckland Normal Intermediate. Read Ben’s story here …

Also, Erica and Zora of Maungawhau Primary, Auckland. Read their story here …

Finally, a special judge’s choice wacky honour award to the next chapter. All you blog-readers, get ready for a laugh. Read it here …

A special School of the Week Prize goes to -

Maungawhau Primary in Auckland.